All-NBA Versatility Teams

Dean Fuchsia
3 min readApr 7, 2022

The most versatile guys in the league.

April 7th, 2022

No I’m not going to do that stupid shit where they do All-NBA teams by position. That’s the stupidest thing ever. Nobody plays positions anymore; look at the Raptors. Simply the players who are the best and the most versatile in the NBA.

First Team

Mikal Bridges

Boner city baby. Bridges is top 40 in the league. Give it two years and he’ll be top 20. Suns got him on a great extension. Invest in his sports cards now. Put 4 centers next to him and he’ll space and bring the ball up. Put 4 point guards next to him and he’ll drop in the pick n’ roll and protect the rim.

Kevin Durant

The most valuable versatile guy. Any roster in the league would immediately become a playoff team with KD. Fucking think about it- Detroit. All of a sudden, they’re running out Cade Cunningham, Saddiq Bey, Olynk, KD and Jerami Grant. That’s a playoff starting 5!

Steph Curry

Think about it, what team wouldn’t start Chef Curry with the shot boi? 360 with the wrist boi. Spaces any lineup, comes off screens, holds his own defensively against anyone 6’ 5” or shorter.

Jrue Holiday

The Bucks second best player after a shitty shooting season last year. Best guard defender in the league, I don’t care what you say. I don’t think CP3 was hurt in the Finals last year, I just think that Jrue Holiday is that good when he wants to be.

Jaylen Brown

Nice wing. 3 and dizzle.

Second Team

Cameron Johnson

Buy his sports cards. Zzzzzzzz.

Lonzo Ball

I still feel like he should be better. He’s great on paper, just don’t love his game. Hits threes, good help and on-ball defense. Passing hasn’t improved since the Chino Hills days, but still okay.

Klay Thompson

Classic.

Desmond Bane

Klay Thompson Jr.? Stretch? Yeah. Baller.

Donovan Mitchell

My favorite candidate for a new team next year. I love him on Memphis or in New Orleans. I think he’s improved defensively- trying to become like his idol, D-Wade.

Third Team

Luka Doncic

Hookah Doncic

Yes he’s heliocentric now, but he can change. You could put anyone next to him and he would figure it out. I have a wet dream where Jokic signs with the Mavericks.

Nikola Jokic

Speaking of. Lol. Fits with anyone. Reason he is third team is because he can’t really switch. Despite that; best passer in the game. Great shooter, much improved as a rim defender. You could put him next to Joel Embiid and they would make it work.

Jordan Poole

I’m not very high on him at this point- I think he could be a fluke. Kind of like when guys from the Patriots get a bunch of hype and then they sign a huge contract somewhere else and suck. I bet Poole isn’t the same player in any other city.

Max Strus

I hate this guy. Watched him in Summer League and just fucking hated him. He’s got that kind of energy. Like boisterous, I’m not as athletic as you, but I’m going to kick your ass anyway energy.

Duncan Robinson

Only weakness here is defense. He’s last on this list because he will get cooked in a playoff series. Shooting makes him fit in any lineup

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Dean Fuchsia

“He who dare not offend, cannot be honest.” Hire me: platypuses4congress@gmail.com Real initials: MS