Here’s What America’s Third Political Party Would Look Like

Dean Fuchsia (MS)

image via Brown University

Think Trump Sucks? Think Biden also sucks? Cum check out the Centrists! A political party for people who are tired of voting for fuckheads (of either party) who are all just paid off by the 1 percent.

The Centrists are a political party for people who have fundamental American values.

Freedom, liberty, voting, direct democracy, transparency, honesty, assertiveness, respect, self-respect, integrity, opportunity and policy based on facts, not fear or shame.

Here’s our policies:

• Presidential candidates are a center left and center-right pairing. Meaning the President will be on the opposite political side of his/her running mate.
• States choose whether or not to legalize abortion
• States who choose to have abortion be illegal must have a fully funded foster program that offers state of the art health care, education, housing, extracurriculars, food and everything that a surrendered child would need for the unbridled possibility of upward mobility.
• We are no longer allowed to spend any greater than 10% of our annual federal budget through debt borrowing.
• Minimum tax rate: Everyone in the world pays a 25% minimum tax- no matter fucking what.
• Corporations worldwide pay a 30% tax rate minimum worldwide- no matter what
• Carbon tax implemented that will increase incrementally over the next 25 years to the point where it becomes completely unsustainable to use carbon on an industrial scale.
• Marijuana is legal.
• Every prisoner convicted of drug charges related to marijuana will be released from prisons.
• Over the next 20 years we are going to transition eliminate all private prisons.
• Teachers are going to be paid at an above-poverty rate everywhere no matter what.
• Same goes for policemen, and any notable qualified public worker.
• Campaign finance can stay legal for now. Any contributions we receive as a party will be declared on a public ledger. Down to the last dollar. We will record the money we receive from each donating party in clear terms.
• Over the next 10 years we want to incrementally implement laws to first make campaign finance transparent, and over the next 20 years, make it strictly illegal. All campaign finance will be paid for by the taxpayer from that point forward.
• Basic healthcare for everyone, no matter what.
• Any member of the top 1 percent of income earners or wealth holders will be taxed at the same level as the average American or higher.
• I.E.: If the average American is taxed at 30% of their income, every member of the top 1 percent will pay the same percentage on their income or higher. A one-time wealth tax will cut 30% of the wealth holdings among the 1,000 richest individuals in America. We will forcefully advocate for the rest of the world to enact this policy. These ultra-wealthy individuals will have some say in the distribution of these funds.
• All policy implemented by party members and votes cast will be announced on a public ledger.
• All of our voters will have a say in party policy decisions. Any decision in which over 75% of our voting registrar agrees to support will be universally supported by our party and legislators. This excludes lowering the tax rate. This occurs in a strict, identity-checked survey with top-notch firewall protection and the highest level possible of fraud protection.
• Housing for everyone, no matter what.
• Anybody can marry anyone.
• Defense spending will also be placed on a public ledger in specific terms. Any items not disclosed by the Pentagon will have to be reported in a more general sense. We want to place an emphasis on how much of the voter’s tax money goes towards war or potential war every year.
• We aren’t going to spend any time talking about gender pronouns. Call yourself whatever you want.
• We are not taking any guns from any U.S. citizen. But, if you want to purchase any semi-automatic or automatic rifle new or used, you have to go through a rigorous, months-long process of vetting by a psychiatrist, local leaders and a transparent background check. This approval has to be renewed every two years.
• No absolute government health mandates on any internal body implementation of any kind moving forward- it’s an infringement on personal liberty.

For example: if another pandemic comes along- we can demand that tax-payers wear a mask in public places, but no legislation can demand that they receive a vaccine.

• Increase police spending. More time and resources spent on training and threat de-escalation. We will hire licensed mental health professionals to be on-call for emergencies related to criminals with perceived cognitive or emotional deficiency.
• We are going to spend more money on prisons. Increase rehab programs and education processes in prisons for non-violent offenders.
• Magic mushrooms and Acid are legal everywhere but can only be taken through a certified public intermediary. Trials can be taken by any individual over the age of 18. The drug (only given out in single doses) must be taken on the grounds of this certified public intermediary with available support from certified professionals. Trials can be completed once annually.
• Mental health treatment is accessible to all, no matter what.
• Screen time limits on technological devices for individuals under the age of 18. Parents can choose to opt out for their child if they would like.
• Mandatory advertising profile publishing by data collection companies. The profile is only shared with the individual on which the data is being compiled.
• Automatic repeal of any policy related to the education of or jurisdiction as a result of critical race theory.
• Upon release from prison- special job education programs offered at community colleges. Education will be offered at a reduced cost. Reduced-cost loans can be paid off by program participants after 1 year of employment.
• Basic medication prescriptions free for all, no matter what (insulin, epipen, inhalers, heart medications)
• Both residential and commercial solar panel implementation will be subsidized partially by the government.
• Offer tax support to private companies that want to implement public rail transportation between population centers
• The full-time work week is now 36 hours. Full-time benefits are required to be offered after 36 hours of weekly work.
• Free early childhood education for any child, no matter what.
• Minimum wage is $15/ hour. But this wage is on a sliding scale for individuals based on their zip code, and respective cost-of-living levels in the area. This number can drop beneath $15/ hour in low cost-of-living areas. Absolute minimum is $7.50/ hour. Minimum wage base rate will increase annually at the same rate as cost-of-living.