NBA Stock Game: Buy/Sell?

Dean Fuchsia
3 min readJul 17, 2022

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Who are you buying and selling?

July 17th, 2022

Yaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!!!

si.com

Paul George

Hard Buy

Bleacher Report

MVPG13 could be on his way to a Finals MVP if things fall in place. Clippers are ready.

Kawhi Leonard

Hard Buy low

Could also be on his way to his third Finals MVP. Buy low, even though he’s a fucking asshole.

Zion Williamson

Sell

I don’t like Zion. He’s overweight. He’s worse than he was at Duke. His words dictate that he cares; his actions tell a different story.

Rudy Gobert

Buy

I hate Rudy Gobert. He’s about to go off. Minnesota will finish first in the West. Shortly thereafter, they’ll get knocked out in the first round. Stephen A will be talking about whether or not Rudy Gobert can hold up in the playoffs again next summer for the 58th time. Damn, it’s almost like they overpaid for Gobert. Crazy.

Kevin Durant

Hold

I don’t like Kevin Durant. He’s 34. He’s old. He’s cooked. But he’s still one of the best players around. He stays on Brooklyn this year, could be a good or bad thing for him.

Russell Westbrook

Fire Sale, sell everything you’ve ever had

Lol. Russell Westbrook is the least valuable asset in the NBA. He’s making $45 million to be a dick, play matador defense, brick 10 footers and bitch about every call and his lack of playing time. This dude really has no conception of the idea that he is not good at basketball. He thinks he’s still a star. Russ: if you go 6/22 with 14 points, 7 rebounds and 6 assists; that’s not a good game!

Evan Mobley

Buy

Jerking off for Evan Mobley. The future. Skinny Tim Duncan might have injury problems, but if he conditions and stays healthy, I’m fairly confident he goes down as the best player in the 21 draft class.

D’Angelo Russell

Sell

Just sell.

KAT

Sell

It feels like KAT might ask for a trade in a few years. Does Rudy Gobert make the Wolves better? I’m not sure. He doesn’t make KAT better.

Anthony Edwards

Buy as much as you can

Yahoo! Sports

Please. I’m also jerking off for Ant. Michael Jordan in the wings. Best athlete in the league, save Ja. He’s got it. He’s got all of it. He’s ready. Gobert hurts spacing, but sets him up nicely for regular season success. Look for a sneaky MVP contender here if the Wolves win 55+ games.

Giannis

Buy

No explanation.

Luka

Sell

Luka is not a sell. The Mavs are a sell. Christian Wood and Spencer Dimwiddie? What’s going on? They’re not going to win the Finals, I’ll tell you that much. Could they be in the play-in? Yeah probably. The Clippers, Suns, Wolves, Grizzlies, Warriors and Nuggets are all definitively better than them. Say Luka gets hurt? Lottery team.

Tyler Herro

Sell

My homeboy Tyler, he play in South Beach- with the ugly-ass tattoo and over-inflated ego.

heatnation.com

Brian Windhorst

Buy high

Windy is high in general. Charisma and a nice guy. He’s got connects. He’s certainly more likable than Woj or Chams. Maybe he moves up the ladder here at ESPN.

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Dean Fuchsia

“He who dare not offend, cannot be honest.” Hire me: platypuses4congress@gmail.com Real initials: MS