Poetl- NBA Game Walkthrough

Image from a random game-not mine. Looks like Tyrese Maxey tho

Poetl is a popular up-and-coming basketball player-guessing game named after Spurs center Jakob Poeltl (Turtle with a P, fucking weird, I know)

Here’s how it works-

• You get eight guesses, try any current NBA player!
• Green in any column indicates a match!
• Yellow in the team column indicates the mystery player at one point played for this team, but does not currently
• Yellow in the position column indicates a partial match to the mystery player’s position
• Yellow in any other column indicates this attribute is within 2 (inches, years, numbers) of the mystery player
• If you get stuck, try enabling silhouette mode!
• A new mystery player every day!

So, basically, there’s 8 rounds. Your first guess is a shot in the dark, and after that you’re dicking around and trying to guess the exact player. It’s very stressful and my mind goes blank immediately which pisses me off, but I’m gonna walk through a round. Don’t make fun of me, I’m not doing any research as I go along. It may seem obvious as you go through, but try it for yourself, bitch. I’m not using the silhouette.

Okay

Round 1 (ding, ding)

Can guess anyone- I’m going to go for an average player-

Cedi Osman

Okay, all we know is that this fucker is in the East, he’s shorter than 6’7”, older than 26, and his number is less than 16.

Round 2

Evan Fournier

Alright, so we know he’s a guard. He’s either 6–4 or 6–5, is 29 years old and has a number lower than 13. I fucking hate this, I’m so stressed out.

Round 3

Alright a 6–4 guard from the East who is 29. Fuck this is so hard, my mind is spazzing. Um…. I fucking hate this.

So I’m thinking Atlanta- Kevin Huerter isn’t 29, bogdan?

Bogdan Bogdanovic

Round 4

OooOOOoo kill em’ bitch-ass! Let’s fucking go. So, this player is in the Southeastern Division (nobody gives a shit about divisions in the NBA, this is stupid), apparently Bogdan is 6–6, so mystery man is gonna be still about 6–4.

Okay, so Orlando- Terrence Ross? I have no idea if he’s still on the Magic.

Terrence Ross

Round 5

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Let’s try Charlotte- Terry Rozier? I’m liking this one- I think we might be right on.

Terry Rozier

Fucking hell man, Rozier is 28 apparently and 6–1, not 6–4. Their number is 4 or 5.

Round 6

It’s so hard in the moment, I hate this bullshit. Okay. Florida fuckers-ummmmm….. Miami? Who is 6–4 and 29 on the Heat?

Duncan Robinson ain’t that old. Neither is the Martin twin. Oladipo!!!!

Victor Oladipo

Round 7

LET’S FUCKING GO. DON’T FUCK WITH ME. VICTOR OLADIPO. FUCK YEAH. FUCK ANYONE WHO SAID I COULDN’T DO IT. LET’S GO. Damn, okay, I feel like I get that 1 time out of 10. My ego is soaring right now. Victor Oladipo it is.

Poeltl 35–6/8

Here’s my categorized breakdown per Poeltl.

⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛- Osman

⬛⬛🟩⬛🟨🟨🟩⬛- Fournier

⬛⬛🟩🟩🟩🟨🟩⬛- Bogdan Bogdanovic

⬛🟨🟩🟩🟨🟨🟨⬛- Terrence Ross

⬛⬛🟩🟩🟩⬛🟨🟨- Terry Rozier

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩- Victor Oladipo

I’m honestly so fucking hyped right now. That was nerve-racking. That honestly sucked, but whatever. Alright. Now, if you want to play Poeltl, you have an idea of the psychological toll that it takes. This time I destroyed the machine, but next time I am not so confident.

If you want to play- here’s the link

A new player everyday. Don’t fuck with me. That was terrible.